You Can't Choose Your Relatives - A Sister's Story
The following article was written by Mark's sister Beth. Here she provides an older sibling's perspective of the man everyone thinks they know, but few actually do.
The year was 1957, I was almost 6 years old, and a new baby was coming into our family. Thinking back on this, I really don't remember "expecting" a baby - he just came! You see, my mom didn't talk about "those things". I'm sure I was married and expecting my first child before I heard her use the word "pregnant". I'm a teacher now and today a kindergarten student could explain the process - but not then, not in our house and not in 1957.
As the baby of the family, I wasn't so sure about this new brother. I had a big brother; who needs two? Eventually my sister and I grew used to him, and even enjoyed the times we could "dress him up". We had the real Baby Alive and just didn't know it. The only problem was that before long he grew up and that meant getting into our things!
There's a saying, You can't choose your relatives and I'm thankful that is true, because if choosing were an option, John Mark may not have been my brother. Let's see, the process may have been something like this:
Please read the list of the available babies and their futures and choose the baby boy you would like to have for a brother.
Available: A little boy, John Mark:
1. Will be born March 8, 1957, weighing 3lbs. 15oz., 23 inches long (whoa!, sounds long and skinny to me)
2. Will be a major pest, always blaming you for the messes in the house (hmmm, could I just get a puppy?)
3. In his teenage years he will manage to wreck a few cars and will begin experimenting with drugs. (oh no, I don't think this one is for me)
4. He will marry and experience problems, but don't worry this is just the beginning of trouble. (Whew, I think I'm right about checking "no")
5. He will remarry and have two step sons, adopting the youngest who will be murdered at the age of 8 (How horrible!!! No way I want to go through this!)
6. After the murder of his son, he will plunge further into the world of drugs, he will agree not once but twice to subject himself to the media/films so that not only you but the entire world will know about him but most will believe he's the murderer! (WHY am I still reading about this one? Who would want this? Certainly not me . . .)
Let me keep looking.
But in reality there is no checklist and I didn't get to check "no". Thank goodness! Look at what I would have missed. I would have missed having a brother who loved his family and wanted so much to do right that he never stopped fighting to survive, even when he made every bad decision a person could make. Most people only know Mark from film or book, but that's not Mark, not the Mark I grew up with and love. That's just the man who hit the very bottom, lost all, and was so addicted to drugs that he saw no hope.
I would have missed seeing that man come from the very end of his life to struggle and live - to fight his way (often literally) out of a living Hell - to the man he is today. That struggle is far from over, but the brother I've always known is coming back. Like many others, I will never forget May 5, 1993. I can remember in vivid detail where I was when I received the news on May 6th, how I felt, and the drive to West Memphis not knowing what to say or do. As all the families know (and anyone that has lost a child) there are no words. Christopher has been described by many writers as mischievous, hyperactive, and sometimes disobedient, but I will always remember him as that little guy who used to sit on my living room rug and draw. He would always say, "Do you know what this is?". Sometimes I didn't, and that's when he'd giggle; that's the wonderful innocence of children. That's what was taken away that tragic and unforgettable day.
If I could have checked "no", I could have missed the bad things in Mark's life and I could have avoided watching someone I love self-destruct but then I would have missed knowing Mark, the real Mark who loves his family, fights fiercely to protect them and understands about forgiveness. If you want to know Mark, you need look only at his heart.
I loved reading this from a sister's point of view. I think this lady knows her brother very well.
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thank you for the kind words. this is the first thing I've ever written for someone else's eyes and I'm glad you liked it. Mark has come so far. I'm proud of him.
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AWWWWW! You are lucky to have each other as siblings! Mark has made a great turn around, and that is the beauty of the human spirit. I'm sure having a sister that loves him no matter what helped a great deal.
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Mark has made great strides and it is good to see him heading in the right direction. As I said, it's hard to see someone you love self-destruct and that was exactly what he was doing. thanks for your kind words.
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Stay strong, all of you. It takes a very strong man to survive what Mark's been through, and an even stronger one to admit he was wrong. My heart and prayers for all the Byers.
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"If I could have checked "no", I could have missed the bad things in Mark's life and I could have avoided watching someone I love self-destruct but then I would have missed knowing Mark, the real Mark who loves his family, fights fiercely to protect them and understands about forgiveness. If you want to know Mark, you need look only at his heart."
Very touching and a nice testimony from a sister who took the time to write such touching words.
Mark is unique in his "Mark" like way and I enjoyed the time I talked with him on the phone. He is funny, caring, and someone who you could sit on the porch with having just an Ice Tea and talk with for hours. Not just about this case but about anything.
Never thought I would ever meet this man and am glad to say I took the time to do so.
Nice to read a sisters out look on this Infamous Mr. Byers.
He deserves such a testimony, his heart has many of them. Some may not like him but they need to look at that heart of his. Its very passionate about his views and I respect the fact that while he doesnt have to do or say anything about it, he is open, honest and does not back down.
Cheers to the Byers family and much love one day hope to meet Mark so I can give him a big bear hug.
Renee'
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Thanks Renee,
It is JMB that has been so very blessed to have a loving sister like beth,My family & my faith are the things that have carried me this far.
If you dont stand for something YOU will fall for anything. I have made MY stand,drawn My line in the sand & I wont back down. Thank you all for the kind words,
sincerly,
jmb
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After seeing PL 1 & 2, there were two people primarily that I wished I could talk to. One of them was John Mark Byers.
I was granted this honor back in 2006 and, ever since, I have had the opportunity to see his point of view and respect it fully even if I didn't quite fully agree with him on it. Being able to correspond with him via email, phone and message board has been an experience that I have to honestly say I would never trade for anything in the world.
Mark displays a strong and passionate stance in what he believes and knows. It's a stance that commands an understanding of where it comes from and respect.
Mark's rough past seems to have only been the fire that forged this sword of a character. The past experiences have strengthened his judgment, his personality and his character.
John Mark Byers is an everyman. He's had to endure the price of fame and the problems that many of us face today. At the same time, John Mark Byers is a larger-than-life character that no writer could have imagined and (my opinion) no actor could ever do justice. He's a Proud Southerner with simple tastes and a down-home, common-sense approach to any situation.
I have to say that knowing John Mark Byers has been one of the most fun experiences of my life. To me, he's the embodiment of what an American Southern Man should be and his story serves up many life lessons that can benefit us if we choose to learn, tragic events that provide the elements of Man vs. Man, Man vs. Nature as well as, the ultimate struggle which he's endured and come out on the other side, grinning from ear to ear...Man vs. Himself that provide warnings to us and finally, the biggest events that have shaped him into the man he is, the love and humor of friends, family and total strangers.
While it's true you can't choose your relatives, you CAN choose your friends and missing out on John Mark Byers in the way of friendship or having him as part of your family would be the biggest tragedy of them all.
-Lord Genocyde
host of The Genocydal Empyre v3.0
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Hi Mark good to see you. hope all is well.
DJ nice words and sincere too. You have always been a defender of Mark, long before it was popular, well done mate.
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Are all of you kidding? it is nice tohave family but are all of you forgetting what this guy is accused of? Shouldn't we still be feeling sorry for his step son?
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Golly, Shelley, I guess I HAVE totally forgotten what "this guy" is accused of. What exactly IS that anyway? And who, besides you, is doing the accusing? And what makes you think that people have stopped feeling the pain of what happened in Robin Hood Hills fifteen years ago, and the fear and suffering those poor little boys went through?
It's more than "nice" to have family. They get you through the toughest times. They are the people who tell you that you are acting like a jerk, but they love you anyway. In Mark Byers's case, his family was his lifeline.
So Shelley, are you accusing him of anything?
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Was real nice to read your words Beth, and you can tell they come from the heart. I am sure it was so hard watching your baby brother spiral the way he did.
I am one of those original Byers critics, who's eyes and ears have been opened by science. Sadly i am one of many that had fallen prey to the failures of Police 101, and wandered a path that i shouldn't have. That path was to scrutinize and dissect Mark Byers.
I must apologize to you also Beth, as his big sister, i would have also caused you pain.
I am very glad that Mark has accepted my humbled apologies for me walking that path, and i have in turn accepted his apologies towards me.
This giant of a man, has walked where most would never dare to tread. And he has come out the other side!
Blessed be Mark, with love and light, Yvonne the nutty Pagan from Australia.
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God Bless you mark!!
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Thank you for your kind words, but most of all,thank you for letting Mark know how you feel. As he has acknowledged, he was his own worst enemy. I am grateful he has come to this point in his life and hope this nightmare can soon be put to rest. Beth
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